why women hating women needs to stop


The occurrence that sparked the idea for this post was what you could essentially call an isolated incident of 'girl on girl hate', but one that felt substantially wrong because I cumulatively see that one of the many social issues we face today is a very strong disdain for women. This has so many branches & implications, especially so for women of color, & I've become increasingly astounded by this unjust conclusion. Each instance different but even so connected, & inevitably boiling down to the same result: females are inferior.

The body of a female has the biological capability of carrying life. Calling this an amazing event is honestly an understatement. Yet, the outward consequences that are interrelated to our innate abilities have been sociologically reduced to meaninglessness. Puberty causes your body to change in so many ways, all in order to fulfill our role as mothers. We gain fat, our hormonal levels change, we get our periods for the first time. I think of these often challenging & confusing moments today with endearment. I personally don't want to be a mother, nor do I think women are obligated to be one. Being a parent is a huge responsibility that I am not very keen on. Much like when I start thinking of all the problems of the world, the thought of children growing up surrounded by this antiquated mentality toward women today - one which proclaims that a woman is simply not worthy of owning or loving her body - is highly unappealing.

Women are not objects. Our breasts don't grow in order to please men, not in shape or function. The hair on our bodies is not up for debate by anyone but each individual woman to tend to it as she pleases. Our bodies alone are not inherently sexual. If seeing a naked woman excites you, that is a direct product of your feelings & absolutely not something you can simply assign liability to her for.

The fact that on numerous occasions a woman's self-worth is minimized, her pain justified, is disturbing to say the least. It seems that as a society, we have decided that if a woman is in any way exploring her freedoms, she should be ashamed & 'deserves it' if she happens to be abused or molested. God forbid she's using her sexuality as her means of an income, & the hatred never seems to end. The disgustingly ignorant comments & viewpoints range in seriousness & stupidity, but they're all equally damaging, to a point where women don't seem to do anything right no matter where they individually stand.

And the saddest thing in my eyes isn't exclusively that many men think like this, but that women often do as well. An oppressed person, in my eyes, can sometimes begin to take up on these types of highly uneducated popular beliefs just so that they won't be 'grouped in' with whatever it is that is causing the oppression. I feel like that's inevitably the product of a little girl that is exposed to this constant undermining of our gender. We grow up hating ourselves & hating each other. We would be fools to believe that all these social expectations of a woman don't have a dark side.

My question is, how can we expect progress if we don't stand up for anything? Crassly put, we are all alive today in part because of woman's period. It is on a woman's body where you'll find the tell-tale signs, in the stretchmarks & scars on her stomach & thighs, the fat that gathers around her hips - all things we should celebrate, respect & be grateful for.

Next time you go to judge a woman by her size or her skin or her circumstances, think again - she is a complex being, one that likely doesn't know her worth. Love & protect yourself, all women, & just don't.

*Painting by my favorite, Aya Takano*

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